I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
