Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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