Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
