just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
