I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
