Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
