I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
