My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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