What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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