I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
