and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
