My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
