Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
