Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
