P.S. I can't hear my feet
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Randomize
