is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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