at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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