think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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