actually, I'm a sock model
I'm going to jail i love you
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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