I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
