just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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