May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
