Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
