Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
