if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
