I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
