did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
