So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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