is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
