Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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