New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
