TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
