You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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