So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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