so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
