What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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