Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
being pregnant is like rehab
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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