Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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