Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
