but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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