Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
