so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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