I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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