Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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