he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
