Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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