Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
