I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
