ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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