he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
